dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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