last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
