Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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