Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
