You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
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