I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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