so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
