Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
