she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
