She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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