Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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