Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
