Swine flu. Run for my life!
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
The feeling are messing with the penis
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
