I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
