you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Randomize
