Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
