Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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