garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
