I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
