When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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