its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
