If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Randomize
