Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
