Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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