I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
