No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
