We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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