i permit you to call me
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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