i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
How does one acquire holy water?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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