Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Enjoy the penises
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
