it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
