And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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