I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
