I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
