Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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