so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
