Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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