GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
