i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
