just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
