I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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