so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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