I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
