So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
