By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Can Purell be used as lube?
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
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