i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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