I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
