I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
