Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
