Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Is Oprah even human
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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