I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
