i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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