just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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