It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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